Tuesday Quotes From Xavier

Things my precocious 4 yr old son says:

While watching me brush my hair

“If you want to be more beautiful you should get Bump It.  It doesn’t clip, it just slides on and it’s SO secure. You can get a second set with high Bump Its and small Bump Its”

Later in the evening

Me: “What can I use Bump It for?”

Xavier: “Oh, well, you can use it to look sassy, flirty or fabulous!”

On the topic of having to wipe his own butt in Kindergarten

“I don’t want to go to Kindergarten anymore”

When I tucked him in at night and told him to turn on his nightlight and climb into bed

“No mom! Tucking me in is not about telling me what to do”

On introducing himself to a new person

“Hmm.  That sounds like a boring name!”

When my husband sarcastically called our daughter a rocket scientist

“It means you’re a dumb crackhead, Maya”

When a motorcycle went zooming past us on the road

“Woah! That guy was going FUCKING FAST!”

As he walks into my bedroom while I’m hanging out in bed with my husband, Graham

Xavier: “Are you, ya know, having sex?”

Graham: “What’s sex?”

Xavier: “I don’t know. I just know on Mamma’s doctor show the girl wants it and the boy won’t give it to her.”

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One Comment on “Tuesday Quotes From Xavier”

  1. Melissa Says:

    Oh my god! Xavier is the funniest little squirt I know!

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